LAMBERTVILLE, NJ—August 10, 2020
August 25th is Kiss and Make Up Day. With the COVID lockdown bringing too much togetherness, many couples are pondering if they should call it quits or if they should make up.
“All couples have their ups and downs, and many can be weathered with love and a commitment to work things out.” says Sonia Frontera, a collaborative divorce attorney, empowerment trainer and author of Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist? “Filing for divorce is a life-altering decision that should be made carefully and never in haste.”
Before you head to your lawyer’s office, Frontera recommends doing emotional inventory and sorting through your marital dynamics to determine whether your marriage can be saved or if it is time to move on.
Frontera offers seven queries to walk you through the process, gain clarity and help you make the divorce decision with confidence.
If you no longer love your spouse, it is more humane to get a divorce, so both partners can rebuild their lives and be happy, although separately. If the love is still there, however, investing in the relationship can pay off and spare you from heartache and regret.
You may not be happy right now, but your marriage can improve if both parties are willing and able to work on it. Understanding your needs and communicating them to your spouse is the first step. Committing to a joint action plan is instrumental.
Ponder whether most people find the behaviors that drive you crazy offensive or if they are your personal pet peeves. Some behaviors, like abuse, are deal-breakers. Lesser offenses, like leaving socks on the floor or the toothpaste cap off are annoying. But do they justify ending your marriage?
Evaluate whether you are vexed by thoughtless behaviors that can be corrected or if your spouse is hurting you intentionally.
Pay attention to your words and actions and how they affect your relationship. Notice what happens when you try a new approach to situations that create conflict.
You deserve to be happy. You are not doing yourself or your spouse any favors by staying in a relationship that makes you miserably unhappy.
Approximately 50 percent of divorced couples regret having divorced and wish they had worked harder at saving their marriages. If you are worried that you will be sorry you divorced, give your relationship one last chance before you say goodbye.